Frequently Asked Questions

Are services in person or online?

Currently, all sessions are online using a HIPAA-secure video link with the exception of weekend intensives which are in-person in Williamsburg, Virginia.

What does therapy cost?

There are different fees for different services. Go to Services and Investment button on the menu for more information.

Do you accept insurance?

I am in-network with most commercial insurances and accept insurance reimbursement for individual therapy only. All couples work is private pay.

Why don't you accept insurance benefits for couples work?

While it is true that some therapists will bill insurance when working with a couple, I adhere to the contractual agreements I sign which require a mental health diagnosis with documented medical necessity for an individual to be considered for payment. Couples work may feel extremely painful but it is separate and different from an individual's generalized anxiety disorder or major depressive disorder. If seen individually for those conditions, it is covered by insurance. If seen as a couple to work on the relationship, it is not covered by insurance. While there may be occasions that this is not the case, eliminating insurance for couples work further protects your privacy, avoids putting a mental health diagnosis on your medical record, and protects both of us from having the insurer ask for their money back later.

What forms of payment do you accept? Cash is accepted for weekend intensives. Otherwise, credit or debit cards are required for online services. For individual therapy, a health savings account card may be used.

Can I/we get a refund if we are unhappy?

Therapy involves emotional work and due to the uniqueness of human beings, outcomes cannot be guaranteed. For that reason, refunds are not provided based on satisfaction. If something isn’t working, talk about it openly. Therapy works best when concerns are brought into the room rather than carried silently or, worse, written in a review after the fact.

How long will it take?

The answer is, it depends. Every person and couple is different. For people who are ready to receive feedback and make changes, 6 sessions may be sufficient. Others have higher acuity and defenses that have been around for years and it takes time to unpack. Clients in individual and couples therapy are always encouraged to share with their therapist how they are feeling about the therapy and if they would like to stop or continue.

What does couples therapy involve?

Couples therapy with me (Rosemary Via) is quite different from individual in that I take more of a direct leadership role. I spend time teaching concepts, presenting perspectives that are often new to people, and helping folks understand interpersonal human dynamics. I also engage each person in sharing what they are thinking and feeling and use assessments to increase their self-awareness and insight. We also practice having difficult conversations and assess what went well and what didn't. Each session will build on a prior session and you are never left battling about old grievances with a passive observer. Change occurs when the individuals in the relationship develop more emotional maturity, interpersonal skills, and emotional regulation and are better able to stay calm and centered when things are not going their way. With love, commitment, and growth, couples can become unstoppable.

Do you meet with us individually or together each session?

I prefer to meet with both individuals together as much as possible. There are times when I have intuition about something that I want to address privately or I assess that one party needs additional attention to address a problematic behavior, but I prefer for the individuals to be in the room and hearing the other do the work, share their stories, and watch the transformation happening in front of them.

Will the therapist keep my secret(s)?

I cannot guarantee 100% confidentiality to the individuals within a couple if I meet with them separately although I will use high discretion and wisdom with what is shared. For example, if I learn that one partner is having an affair they did not previously disclose to their partner, I will ask if we can present this information together and give the person a limited time to make a decision. In this case, I would stop seeing the couple together under another explanation so there is no chance of disclosing the secret but would strongly encourage both parties to continue individual work with other therapists.

Is it too late to save my relationship?

Only the two people in the relationship can answer this question. Where there is emotional maturity (developed over time,) grace, forgiveness, and commitment, a relationship can be revived. I am always upfront with couples when I see dysfunctional dynamics that are destroying the relational system and share an honest prognosis based on the responses of the participants.

What do I do if my partner refuses to participate?

Seek individual therapy. Being in a relationship requires two people and it only requires one to royally mess it up! If you are the one who is emotionally underdeveloped, emotionally unregulated, unfaithful, or otherwise behaving in a manipulative or destructive manner, therapy can help! If this describes your partner, you will need to learn important skills to maintain your mental health, self-respect, calm, confidence, and problem-solving abilities to assist you in dealing with it. Sometimes both parties need a tune up but one may get started first and the other may be more willing to follow.

What if I am initiating therapy but I'm not sure I want to remain in the relationship?

That's honest and acceptable. It is common to wonder if we can keep going with the relationship the way it is. Seeking individual therapy and looking more deeply at the strengths and areas for growth in both partners from your perspective can bring clarity which is freeing.

Will I be put on the spot to answer questions I may not want to answer?

No. I always offer the "pass" rule. Therapy is voluntary and saying no is a personal right. I respect that. Your partner, however, may not deal with it well if you refuse to answer their question(s.)

What happens if one partner is more motivated than the other?

This is more common than you would think! Typically, one party is quite vocal in saying "I'm not happy." The other may be passive and quite content. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if your partner isn't happy, they may not stick around with you for long (why people don't seem to believe this until it is too late is an enigma to me.) But here's the deal: If both parties aren't willing to put in the work, ask to be an observer of a couples group therapy session and with the group's permission, you may be able to dip your toes in, see what's involved, and change their mind. On the other hand, if they are totally closed off to receiving help despite your pleas, you will want to seek individual therapy because you are in a one-sided relationship.

Will stirring things up in therapy make it worse?

Let's face it - it's already bad. Maybe you aren't talking about the issues, but something is stirred up or you wouldn't be reading this website. So, yes, couples therapy can be intense but I assure you as the therapist that I will remain in the leadership role to keep sessions safe and productive for all involved or we will end the session and pick up another time. Generally, we are chatting about issues that have been previously discussed and you are learning how to see them with new eyes, new maturity, and new skills.

Will the therapist take sides?

If that's what it takes, absolutely, yes. How many people that are harsh and abrasive or incredibly selfish or entitled admit to these unbecoming traits and behaviors until they are called out, brought to their attention, and shown what it is costing them? None. So with love in my heart for all humankind, I will absolutely share with any man or woman what I am observing, how it is impacting the relationship, and what it is costing them. The person behaving immaturely can decide if they will receive the gift of reality and make changes or throw it back and likely lose their relationship. It does not take two to ruin a relationship - one mean, selfish, evil, or manipulative person can completely destroy another human being and any semblance of a relationship they may have once had. "Who are you to judge," you may ask? The person asking this question is likely the person who does not want to see their own darkness. I share my clinical observations to give my clients a chance to become the mature, loving, connected humans they are meant to be.

Will the therapist tell us to get a divorce?

No. This is the decision of the individuals in the relationship. I may be honest and share a poor prognosis if behaviors do not change, but I believe people can change and with help and motivation, their relationships can change, too.

What if my partner wants a divorce?

There are times when a partner brings their spouse to couples counseling to break the news that they are leaving. They know the partner will need the support. There is nothing we can do to make a person stay. Nor would we want to convince or pressure them. Relationships are based on free will, love given generously, and mutual respect. I will help anyone who is leaving or being left to gain clarity; to make wise choices having thought through the long-term consequences; and to rebuild their life.

I'm a person of faith. Can I talk about it in therapy?

Yes, please! I am also a person of faith - Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. I am happy to incorporate and discuss Scriptures with you if you ask. If you are of another faith and it is important to you, I invite you to share that with me as well so I may be culturally informed and serve you well. I have worked with people from Christian, Jewish, Islamic, and Hindu faiths as well as those who do not believe in a higher power. Faith is a personal choice, but I do have specialized training in Pastoral Care from Loyola University of Maryland to address spiritual issues.