90 Minutes, 1 day or night per week, Minimum of 4 Weeks,

with the Same lovely People

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Usually, when people hear "group," they immediately think they won't like it. A group isn't safe. "I don't want people knowing my business."

 

But isn't it lonely feeling like you are the only one who looks happy on the outside but is privately withering away?

 

Wouldn't it be nice to know that other smart, capable, competent men and women just like you were having the same circular conversations; the same disconnection and lack of intimacy; and the same fear that their relationship may not make it?

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The group setting normalizes the pain that you are feeling so you know you are not alone and others are there to support and cheer for you as you make breakthroughs in your marriage. 

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Group members are carefully selected. Not everyone is permitted to participate because we need to insure that it will be a safe, productive place where people can be themselves, admit their struggles, and grow. You will be matched with people who have been interviewed, briefly assessed, and educated in the group norms and expectations including confidentiality of member information. 

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The group setting also allows you to receive feedback from other members - not just the therapist. If you think the therapist is biased and not understanding you correctly, the other members can share their perspectives - following basic ground rules for safety and respect - and let you know if they agree with you or if there is something you haven't seen in yourself. 

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And the group process is online. You are in the comfort of your own home. Much of the session will be the therapist providing guidance, instruction, education and modeling of behaviors. She will ask for permission to engage with you individually or as a couple and there is always a "Pass" rule that allows you to easily decline being the center of attention. 

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The beauty of a group is hearing other people speak about their issues and realizing you are in the same boat (or maybe better off than you thought) and learning from the feedback they receive. And it is more cost effective than 1:1 couples counseling sessions. You get all of the learning, in longer sessions (90 minutes) without the pressure of being "on" during that full length of time. Some times you will be listening and observing, while other times you may be sharing or practicing a new skill with others who are struggling with the same concerns. 

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While this is not a 12 steps group, I have seen the amazing results that people have accomplished by sharing with their fellow humans going through similar struggles and the incredible sense of community that is formed when both setbacks and successes are announced each week. 

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Clients are asked to commit to at least 4-weeks with the same cohort to maintain continuity and provide value and they may decide to move forward with the same group or join in with others at the end of the 4 weeks. 

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One of the worst feelings in the world is, "What if others knew how much we're struggling?" and "Would I be abandoned by them?" The people in this group are there for you before you have lost everything and need a DivorceCare support group, helping you, cheering you on, and striving to make changes just like you are. It's called community. And it works. 

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